So apparently writing a blog is about as terrifying for me as being on stage......
in front of everyone......
wait for it.......stop laughing at me Monica...
SINGING.
Those of you who know me know and understand that sometimes I like to be the center of attention in a goofy, "let's see how far I can push it" way, and sometimes, it just follows me around like my shadow without having to even try. But honestly, in high school, I did the musicals for something fun (mainly because I wanted a valid reason to play dress-up), but I never, ever sang by myself.....in front of people...except for one year. And it made me want to throw-up. I thought it would be a good idea, or maybe it was Tim that thought it was a good idea, to have a little solo to tag along with my little dance troupe number with the girls. Dancing is fine. I may not be the most coordinated, but darn it, they can teach me the counts and I'll practice my little heart out and make it look effortless, but in my head I'm praying I don't lose count. But singing! SINGING! I am definitely one of the people that know and fully understand that I do not possess any singing capability, nor do I pretend to. But you know what? I got up on that stage and belted out my little solo the best that I could, and what I gathered from friends and family, they had no idea I could do that. It was definitely a first.....probably a last as well, but I was proud of myself for giving it a try, especially since it pushed my comfort limits a little....or maybe a lot.
Everyone's limits are different, and most importantly, each of the different limits a person possesses are different in themselves. And I find that the hardest limits to push are the ones that I felt as if I could be judged by my peers the most for. It took a lot of growing up to learn to be me...few seemed to like the real me, and almost everyone was quick to judge. Thankfully age and experience has helped that along. But one place where I felt limitless was in my writing. I had two very outstanding teachers in high school, Mrs. Mary Stiers and Mrs. Janet Mottaz, who were so inspirational to me. Mrs. Stiers taught me technique, but it was Mrs. Mottaz who really taught me that it was OK to be me in my writing, not some stereotypical template that many follow. I always knew I wanted to write...I didn't know what, but I knew I wanted to put something in print. That is, up until midway through college....not all of my professors appreciated my perpetual voice within my papers. Between dry topics and professors that just wanted us to spit back the facts at them, it really began to dry up my writing skills, along with my confidence of my own voice and view.
Until there was one...A children's literature class, with a crazy-haired professor. I'll be honest, I don't remember his name, probably because I did nothing but read children's books in his class. But he assigned a paper that I knew I had already written in high school, so, as the organized little homebody that I am (some say pack-rat), that weekend home I found my paper, retyped it, and turned it in. I already had enough homework, I knew I didn't have the time to write a whole new short story. When I received my paper back, there was one comment that I still remember "Veronica, this is amazing...instead of education, have you ever thought about writing?!?!!!" I knew then that my dream was confirmed, but an outlet still hadn't made itself known.
Writing is such a therapy...it let's all of the thoughts have an escape route out of your mind, allowing you to clear it to be able to form complete thoughts again. I find that when I have too much time to think, I tend to feel crazy...giving myself an outlet for these thoughts will be a refreshing change of pace...hopefully. Don't get me wrong, I'm scared out of my wits of being judged. It's one thing for a teacher or a professor to read something, but to put it out there for all to see....that takes about as much guts as getting up on that stage and belting out my little solo.
With all that is going on in the world, especially focusing around agriculture, it's frustrating and down right aggravating. But who am I to get mad about it if I won't stand up and use the skill set that I have to help put more faces and voices with agriculture?! At a recent Women in Ag Conference in the QC with Michele Payn-Knoper, she stressed the significance of everyone reaching at least one person per day with some ag related topic, and further more, how effective social media is for reaching thousands of people almost effortlessly. Think about how many people on your Facebook account are going on about this 90 day challenge deal with the shakes. Most of us really don't care, but we see it anyways, just by scrolling through our timelines (and if you're as onry as I am, you block them off your newsfeed because apparently drinking a candybar shake is healthier than eating a healthy, portion sized meal, but that's a WHOLE different rant). I feel that if I share the "tails" of our family out here on the hill on our little farm, many of you will see that it doesn't matter your background or your upbringing, but that agriculture is the base on which the building blocks of our country were made. You can see the richness of daily experiences through a child's eyes, and I'm confident in knowing that he wouldn't get any of these experiences anywhere else. Feeding his heifers with his dad, shoo'ing away curious momma cows while we're trying to fish at the pasture, helping plant a garden that in the late summer, he'll help pick that night's supper. These are the stories that I want to share with you in my humorous, sometimes not-making-sense manner. I hope these stories will enlighten, educate, and most importantly of all, entertain you with our "simple" life here on the hill!
So here goes my solo!
